Wednesday, April 22, 2009

People and procreation

Don't worry; this isn't as vulgar as it sounds. Just something that popped into my head and I decided to rant on it.

Recently I read that Octomom AKA Nadya Suleman was in talks for a reality show. For those of you who don't know, she had given birth to octuplets earlier this year, which would normally be newsworthy in a good way. However, it soon came out that Nadya already had 6 other children, lives on welfare and disability, and does not even have a job to provide for herself, much less the 14 children she has had.

I read the comments that were posted with said article from readers, and people commented on this woman's life, saying she was just a glory hog. They then began to compare her to other reality show large families, such as the Duggars of 18 kids and counting, the Gosselins from Jon and Kate plus 8, and more recently the Hayes family from Table for 12. Essentially, these people were commenting that these four families (and others like them with multiples) should not be given the chance to have other children, and definitely shouldn't be given television shows to parade their kids like a freak show at a circus.

I couldn't just sit back, so I posted. A summary of my thoughts is as follows:

I do not see why there is any comparison between the families shown on TLC (the aforementioned Gosselins, Hayes, and Duggars) to the actions of this woman if but for one reason: These families actually WORK for a living and attempt to provide for their children themselves. Prior to their pregnancies, the men had stable jobs (and, in the Gosselin's case, so did the wife) and were able to foot the bill, or at least attempt it in their pregnancies. And in all three families, they are still bringing in money aside from endorsements and their television shows.

This then made me think of my own environment. Being LDS, there is a big push for family, and many cannot understand why I do not have children yet. There are a variety of reasons, differing at each point in our marriage, but there was one big constant throughout the last four years: it wasn't possible. I don't mean necessarily that we couldn't because of a medical condition. I mean that we did not have the necessary stability to have a child. In my mind I had a few requirements before I would ever consider bringing a child into this world. We needed stability, in terms of having a stable job and in a situation where we wouldn't have the need to constantly move. I would like to have insurance to cover the necessary medical costs, not only because it would help with the bills, but that would "prove" that we had job stability.

A lot of people don't understand why I would do this. Go forth and procreate; God will find a way. And I have to ask why those without these things WOULD still have baby after baby. I am not one to say "Oh, you shouldn't have kids unless you have all of these things like I do". But I do wonder why some people do it; they have children and move in with their parents who will pay their bills and rent and everything else while they go off and have fun. I don't understand why a couple would try for a baby without having a job or a place to live. I don't understand how another couple with a lot of financial and emotional stress already on their plate would keep trying for more children.

Again, I'm not saying people in this spot SHOULDN'T have children, but if you're in a bad place, why would you consciously try to bring a child into the world in this condition? I love children just as much as anyone else, but really, people, I think that if you cannot afford to keep yourself ok and safe, then why bring in these innocent souls to be squatters and bums?